Author: Joe Bendel

Caviar and Crossbones: LFM Reviews The Pirate; Now on DVD

By Joe Bendel. For centuries, Greeks have maintained a commanding share of the global shipping business. Arguably, Ioannis Varvakis was part of that tradition. He specialized in re-routing Ottoman shipments. He was a proud pirate, but he became a Russian officer and nobleman, while never relinquishing his Greek identity. Yannis Smaragdis, Greek cinema’s prestigious bio-pic specialist turns his attention to the swashbuckler in his English language production, The Pirate (a.k.a. God Loves Caviar), which just released on DVD and is still available on multiple VOD platforms from Vision Films.

The dreaded pirate Varvakis will end up old and infirm, living as a secret captive in a remote British “clinic” for infectious diseases. We know this because the film starts at this cheery point, telling his story in competing flashbacks. Lefentarios, a dodgy veteran of the Greek resistance, will explain to the British superintendent how he goaded the buccaneer into more direct action, while Varvakis’s former servant will explain to a group of street urchins how great his former master truly was.

Varvakis had always fought the Turks ship to ship, claiming the spoils for his efforts. However, at Lefentarios’s urging, Varvakis hatches an unlikely plan to wipe out the entire Ottoman fleet (apparently by setting his ship on fire and pointing it toward several hundred Ottoman vessels). Needing safe haven, Varvakis offers his services to Catherine the Great, who appoints Varvakis her personal agent for the Caspian.

The mostly reformed rogue makes decent coin tending to her interests, but he becomes vastly wealthy when he develops methods to ship caviar without spoilage. Russians love caviar. So do the Persians, which lends his operations additional strategic significance. Catherine is well satisfied with Varvakis, bestowing rank and title upon him. Unfortunately, his personal life is a mess.

Frankly, the Greek resistance to the Ottoman occupation is not exactly over exposed in Western media. The Pirate’s home viewing release comes at an opportune time, countering Russell Crowe’s ripping well-made Water Diviner, which views Greco-Turkish conflicts through the lens of Smyrna. However, Smaragdis devotes an awful lot of time to Varvakis’s loveless marriage to the unfaithful Helena, his strained relationship with a grown daughter from a previous union, and the whiny son who can never live up to his father’s expectations.

Even though it is a minor role, John Cleese not surprisingly delivers all the best lines as McCormick, the British administrator. Sebastian Koch (still best known in America for The Lives of Others) has the appropriate presence for a figure of Varvakis’s stature, but despite no shortage of makeup, he never looks like he is the right age for the character’s successive stations in life. In contrast, Evgeniy Stychkin never ages a day as Ivan, the loyal servant who manages to make his way to Varvakis’s double-secret island prison without arousing any suspicion. Of course, Catherine Deneuve does her stateliest as Catherine II, but her screen time is limited.

The Pirate was a big hit domestically, arriving to bolster national spirits in a time of austerity. Tellingly, the Greeks would look to a pirate, who lives off contraband appropriated from others, as a source of inspiration. Still, there is something appealingly old school about its earnest approach to historical drama. You can practically hear the voiceovers announcing “special guest stars” Cleese and Deneuve. Recommended for those looking for some unselfconscious, slightly creaky, throwback entertainment, The Pirate (a.k.a. God Loves Caviar) is now available on DVD, as well as on VOD services like iTunes, DirecTV, and Vudu.

LFM GRADE: C+

Posted on May 26th, 2015 at 3:54pm.

LFM Reviews Racket @ The 2015 Bosnian Herzegovinian Film Festival

By Joe Bendel. You can tell what preoccupies a nation’s subconscious from the villains and nightmares that appear in its films. As one would expect, the Balkan War, the Siege of Sarajevo, and the frustrated attempts to prosecute war criminals have loomed large in many, many previous Bosnian-Herzegovinian Film Festival selections. However, this year’s slate suggests something of a turning of the corner, including several films addressing concerns New Yorkers understand only too well. That would be gangland shakedowns and public corruption in the case of Admir Buljugić’s crime drama—two New York traditions if ever there were any. Representing an intriguing change of pace in several respects, Buljugić’s Racket screened during the fondly anticipated 2015 Bosnian Herzegovinian Film Festival in New York.

Amil Pašić is a globe-trotting nature photographer, who does not come home to Sarajevo very often. His latest stop-over will be a mere seven days, to be divided amongst his father, his neglected best friend, and his even more neglected on-again-off-again girlfriend. However, his plans go out the window when his father has a heart attack induced by the stress of defying a protection racket.

Of course, Pašić is even more obstinate than his father. When he seeks out Bakir, the extorting gangster, he is not about to come to terms. Instead, he will be serving notice. However, that will not entail unleashing his inner Van Damme. Pašić is hardnosed, but not superhuman.

In fact, the just-rightness of the Pašić character and Adnan Hasković’s lead performance are what really distinguish Racket. He can easily beat up one gangster, but he is probably in serious trouble facing two or three. Striking an intense but not psychotic vibe, Hasković (he killed Jamie Bell in Snowpiercer) makes a compelling everyman action hero.

From "Racket."

While admirably scrappy and impressively moody, Buljugić’s screenplay is still undeniably uneven. Frankly, it heads in a legitimately interesting direction, but his third act is rather perfunctory. Given his budget constraints, he might have been under-pressure to wrap things up quickly. Look, this is a rare case where we would argue thriller fans really need to relax and grade on a curve.

The truth is spending time with Pašić and his circle is rather enjoyable. In fact, it would be rather nice to see subsequent Pašić films come to BHFF, but with a few more zigs and zags coming down the stretch. Recommended as a rare Bosnian gangster film and for Hasković’s winning star turn, Racket screened this past Saturday (5/23) as part of this year’s Bosnian-Herzegovinian Film Festival, a New York tradition for twelve years and counting.

LFM GRADE: B

Posted on May 26th, 2015 at 3:54pm.

LFM Reviews The Sarajevo Assassination @ The 2015 Bosnian Herzegovinian Film Festival

L'ATTENTAT DE SARAJEVO from CMCA on Vimeo.

By Joe Bendel. Many historians believe Archduke Franz Ferdinand was far more progressive than your typical early Twentieth Century aristocrat. He generally advocated for greater decentralization of power and provisionally lent his support to the unlikely concept of a “United States of Austria.” Unfortunately, he was the perfect crowned head to kill if you wanted to ignite a war. Eastern European history professor Paul Grandvohl will re-open the Archduke’s cold case in Nedim Lončarević’s The Sarajevo Assassination, which screened during the 2015 Bosnian Herzegovinian Film Festival in New York, proudly celebrating its twelfth anniversary as one of the most welcoming fests in the City.

The way textbooks typically dismiss the Archduke as a historical footnote is problematic in its own right. Even more dubious are the frequent descriptions of the assassin, Gavrilo Princip and his accomplices as Dostoyevskian pan-Slavic revolutionaries. While Grandvohl probably does not collect enough evidence for a court indictment (nearly 101 years after the fact), he makes a strong circumstantial case, suggesting a certain government played an instrumental role planning and financing the attack. Needless to say, it was not Bosnia (where the Archduke was particularly popular).

As a sidebar to the historical inquiry, Lončarević also follows Grandvohl as he researches his own family history in Sarajevo’s traditional Jewish quarter. What he discovers is much more satisfying than the roots of Ben Affleck’s family tree. Through the process, viewers also get a sense Sarajevo was an unusually tolerant and cosmopolitan city, especially by the standards of pre-WWI Europe.

Although Assassination clocks in with a TV-friendly running time just under an hour, it is chocked full of interesting historical background and context. It is particularly eye-opening to see how Princip was venerated as a revolutionary hero under the Communist regime and remains a celebrated figure in Serbia today.

PBS really ought to pick-up Assassination for broadcast in America. Frankly, the murder of the Archduke and his morganatic wife, the much-maligned Sophie, Duchess of Bavaria is something everyone has heard of, but very few really understand to any significant extent. While the film never feels drily academic, Lončarević and Grandvohl shoehorn in a good deal of informative and telling history. Highly recommended for those fascinated by WWI (and the ultimate origins of WWII), The Sarajevo Assassination screened Saturday (5/23) as part of this year’s Bosnian Herzegovinian Film Festival, which has become an annual tradition both for the expat community and a growing number of cineaste supporters.

LFM GRADE: A-

Posted on May 26th, 2015 at 3:54pm.

Only the Victims are in Stitches: LFM Reviews HC3

From "Human Centipede 3."

By Joe Bendel. So much for truth in advertising. Tom Six’s third go-round stitching together poor hapless victims claims to be “100% politically incorrect,” but nothing could be farther from the truth. Take for instance the setting: “George W. Bush Prison” in East Jesus, Texas. Unfortunately for viewers, Six desperately wants to be considered “relevant” as a satirist, but he just isn’t funny. However, what is really unforgivable is the baffling lack of scatological grotesqueness in Six’s Human Centipede 3 (Final Sequence), which opened last Friday in New York.

The narrative, such as it is, follows screechy prison warden Bill Boss as he sexually harasses his secretary Daisy, bullies his bean-counter Dwight Butler, and wages open warfare against his heavily tattooed gang-member inmates. Boss has embarrassed the politically ambitious Governor Hughes once too often. If he cannot restore order to the prison in one week, Hughes will give him the axe. Fear not, Butler has a perfectly logical solution. Form the inmates into a Human Centipede, just like in Six’s movies. In fact, Six will pop in meta-style, to offer his advice.

Frankly, ‘pede-3 really should have been grosser and gorier, because at least that way it would have been something. Instead, Six tries to make a comedy, but it is deafeningly unfunny. Absolutely nothing lands here. You really have to wonder what was going through Dieter Laser’s head as he raged and mugged as the horrendously loud and annoying Boss. Did he ever ask Six: “Is this funny? Is this really working?” Whatever the director might have said, the answer is a resounding “no.”  As a result, it is truly embarrassing to watch Laser face-plant time after time. Seriously, his bulging eyes and schticky twitching are so over-the-top, it’s like he is trying to be Meryl Streep on a bad day.

From "Human Centipede 3."

Honest to goodness, there is only one solitary dry chuckle in the whole film, earned by Clinton Rohner’s understated delivery as the unlicensed prison physician. However, it is still deeply depressing to see the G vs. E star mired in this muck. Sadder still, HC3 probably represents the dumbest, most underwritten film of pornstar Bree Olson’s career. Yet somehow Eric Roberts manages to skate through relatively cleanly as the governor. Say what you will, that man works a lot. If you don’t like him here, wait a few weeks and watch him play the mayor in LA Slasher.

While it was certainly not a masterpiece, the first Human Centipede was an effective mad scientist film in its own defiant way. This film is simply not funny—period, end of story. Nor does it try to fulfill any traditional horror movie functions. There is just a lot of Laser yelling at the camera. It is sort of like watching Gilbert Gottfried playing Richard Nixon in Secret Honor, without any sense of irony. Not recommended for genre fans or even viewers who enjoyed the previous two films, Human Centipede 3 opened last Friday (5/22) in New York, at the IFC Center.

LFM GRADE: F

Posted on May 26th, 2015 at 3:53pm.

LFM Reviews Winning: the Racing Life of Paul Newman

By Joe Bendel. Paul Newman and Joanne Woodward were way too classy to ever appear in a reality TV show. However, for decades racing fans were able to get a good close look at Newman that was entirely different from what one could glean from the glossy entertainment magazines. He was a competitor through and through, who is fondly remembered by his colleagues and teammates in Adam Carolla’s Winning: the Racing Life of Paul Newman, co-directed by Nate Adams, which releases on VOD this Friday.

Winning was a 1969 Newman-Woodward vehicle that was reasonably successful at the box office, but it had special significance in Newman’s life. In preparation to play Frank Capua, Newman was sent to racing school, where he quickly discovered a real aptitude for driving. It quickly became a passion. As a successful movie star, Newman could indulge an eccentric hobby, but it eventually became a bona fide second career.

Throughout Winning the documentary, Newman’s former rivals give him credit for putting in the time and effort to develop his skills. He was willing to lose a lot of races before he started winning. He was legit, coming in first in his class and second overall at the 1979 Le Mans (the subject of the 1971 Steve McQueen movie). Frankly, it is really cool how to hear how Newman became an accepted and respected part of the racing world.

Believe or not, Carolla is building an impressive portfolio as a filmmaker. Following up the solidly entertaining Road Hard, the comedian (who collects and restores Newman’s former vehicles) has assembled a first-rate sports doc. Fans should understand, there is not much material concerning Newman’s film career here, besides Winning and the Pixar animated film Cars, for which Newman voiced the character of the Hudson Hornet. However, Carolla did score a sit-down with an old Newman friend and co-star by the name of Robert Redford.

Winning (2015) also features interviews with Winning (1969) co-star Robert Wagner, Cars director John Lasseter, both Mario and Michael Andretti, and trailblazing African American driver Willy T. Ribbs, who credits Newman’s support for his big break in motorsports. Sometimes amusing and other times revealing, their anecdotes paint a compelling portrait of Newman the sportsman.

It is just great to have a new Paul Newman film nearly seven years after his death. However, Carolla’s interview subjects make it pretty clear Newman’s zeal for racing necessarily resulted in fewer films for posterity. On the other hand, he therefore chose projects with a discernment that well served his cinematic legacy. Wholly entertaining and surprisingly insightful, Winning: the Racing Life of Paul Newman is highly recommended for fans of the man and the sport when it launches on VOD this Friday (5/22). Fittingly, it will also have a special screening at the Indiana State Museum IMAX Theater in Indianapolis on the same night.

LFM GRADE: A-

Posted on May 18th, 2015 at 10:06pm.

LFM Reviews Paradise in Service @ The 2015 Seattle International Film Festival

By Joe Bendel. Unit 831 was sort of like the USO, except they managed a brothel to keep the early 1960s Nationalist Chinese Military’s morale high. They were not comfort women. It was more complicated than that. A young enlisted man will learn just how complicated in Doze Niu Chen-zer’s Paradise in Service, co-produced by none other than Hou Hsiao-hsien, which screens during the 2015 Seattle International Film Festival.

Lo Pao-tai has the physique to be a frogman, but he literally cannot swim to save his life. Washing out of the Sea Dragons training program, he is transferred to serve out his remaining mandatory term of enlistment at a local Unit 831 brothel. His first day will be quite an eye-opening experience for the naïve young man. However, in his new assignment, he will periodically meet and greet some of his former comrades, including the grizzled Sergeant-Major Chang Yung-shen. In fact, he will see quite a bit of the veteran sergeant, since he has fallen for Chiao, a.k.a. Number 8, the top girl at Lo’s “teahouse.”

Unfortunately, Chiao is a bit of a game-player, whereas Ni-ni is the exact opposite. She came to work at the teahouse under rather tragic circumstances. She and Lo soon become friends, but not yet with benefits. Their courtship will be a slow business that often must be deferred by more pressing Unit 831 business.

Yes, there is probably no better place to come of age in a hurry than a military cat house. While Niu makes it plenty clear just what goes on there, the vibe of the film is strangely innocent. In a way, its concerns are not so very different than Neil Simon’s Biloxi Blues, but can you imagine how delighted his sex-obsessed Eugene Jerome analog would have been with this sort of service detail?

The time capsule-like period details of Paradise are often quite eye-opening. The idea of armed conflict with the Communists was hardly idle speculation for the military stationed on Quemoy, where each side constantly blasted propaganda through loud speakers at each other. There is definitely a sense that both sides are in a not so “Cold” War staring contest.

From "Paradise in Service."

While the setting of a military brothel could easily lend itself to comedy (“no time for procurers”), Niu plays it achingly straight, often diving into pure melodrama. However, the cast sells it like an ensemble of champions. Ethan Ruan has never been better as the innocent Lo, developing some deeply felt chemistry with Regina Wan Qian’s Ni-ni. She is also terrifically sensitive yet restrained as the inherently respectable prostitute. Like a Taiwanese Tommy Lee Jones, Chen Jianbin rock solidly anchors the film as the gruff but vulnerable sergeant, while Miao Ke-li steals scene after scene as Cher, the older, brassier working woman.

Although the Taiwanese military is not exactly eager to talk about the now defunct Unit 831, Paradise never feels like an expose. In fact, there is a strange feeling of camaraderie that develops between the women and the staff. Whether you find it credible or not, that vibe really distinguishes the picture. When it finishes, you feel like you were briefly stationed at Quemoy, which is something. Recommended for fans of the big name Taiwanese and Mainland cast (who do not disappoint), Paradise in Service screens today (5/18), and next Tuesday (5/26), as part of this year’s SIFF.

LFM GRADE: B

Posted on May 18th, 2015 at 10:05pm.